Even when she got the call that indeed it was cancer, all she seemed concerned about at that moment was our hearts and reactions to the news. A mother's love never stops. She always puts her children and family above her own feelings. Even today as she thinks about a potential painful test next week to stage the cancer, she is at peace. Her trust and attitude increase my faith seeing her reaction and love for God. She knows that no matter what happens, it is all going to be ok. She knows where she is going.
I think about her being absent from our lives and believe me, I don't want to think about it, but I plan on walking in the same peace and faith she has shown. We will rely on our Jesus to walk us through those times when they come. Everyone will exit this life at some time. That is just a fact. I am loving seeing how beautifully my Mom is walking through this trial. With peace and grace and love for the people around her.
I know we all hear it and say it sometimes but won't it be bliss to be in heaven with the people we love and the people we admire that we have read so much about in God's word? I know it might sound morbid but I would think that if you are a Christian and knew your life was drawing to a close there might be the stir of butterflies in your stomach and feeling in your chest or heart of a swelling of excitement about what and who you will see when you close your eyes for the last time. Oh my goodness, can you imagine what it will be like?
I hope and pray we will keep our sweet GranJan here for a long time to come. I truly think we will.
Either way though, it is a win win situation.
Yet I am always with you;you hold me by my right hand.
You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will take me into glory.
Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.
Mom, Debra and I