We had a good one a few nights ago.
I guess it was good if you like storms.
I have learned to like a good thunderstorm.
My like quickly turns into feeling like I can't breathe when the wind starts swirling and blowing side ways.
I don't think it is a coincidence that most bad storms come during the night.
It is easiest at night for the prince of darkness to terrify and make me question things that in the light of day I would not question.
At least, that has been a pattern for me.
I hate patterns.
I hate letting fear get the best of me.
I had a friend one time that taught me to get up at night and sing.
Sing to God. Out loud.
She said that praise scares the devil.
I believe that.
Even better, praise strengthens me.
There is something about singing Jesus' name out loud.
Anyway- God is trying to teach me a good lesson.
Back to the storm.
I have kept my fear of tornadoes at bay for quite a few years.
I used to be deathly afraid which stems from being home alone when I was about 11 in the middle of a pretty good one. Believe me, my fear since then has been paralyzing for many years.
Which brings me back to what I was feeling during that storm.
As the the storm was raging I ran back into our bedroom and grabbed the ankles of my peacefully sleeping husband through the covers and babbled something like, "I really think that we need to take cover. Where DO we take cover in this house? Are you awake??"
All I heard was "Oh, ok" as he rolled over and continued the sleep of the peaceful.
My sweet husband was not worried and would not wake up enough to be sympathetic.
That's ok. He is a hard sleeper.
I WILL confess that as I walked back to the middle hallway, I was feeling ok with that end of the house blowing away. :)
Even though I was alone and terrified, he really did me a favor.
This question was running around in my head:
Who do I turn to?
As I sat on the floor I thought about all of the times that I am scared or lonely or upset or even excited and I reach out to the people around me or someone on the phone or even friends on face book.
That is ok. I'm not knocking needing people with skin on.
But...shouldn't my first response in all those situations be to reach out to my awesome God who is always there waiting to comfort me and to fill my heart with joy and peace?
It really struck me that our relationship would be so much further along if I always shared with Him FIRST.
Right there in the hallway in the dark I put away the radar screen eerily shining on my face and asked Him to forgive me for coming to Him after I talk to everyone else.
It was one of those times.
The quieting of my heart.
The perfect knowledge filled me again that darkness cannot over come the light.
He is the light.
That no matter what happens to me, it's ok.
He is jealous for me.
That still amazes me.
Me. He loves me even when I don't even like me.
How amazing is that?
We have SO many distractions. I can be queen of doing everything else except being still.
I sometimes do everything to gain comfort except engaging in conversation with the very One who can bring me peace.
I'm thankful He is forgiving.
I am thankful He does not give up on me.
I am thankful He does not grow weary of waiting on me.
So, I will work on going to Him first.
If you don't hear from me on face book or by phone in a panic over something in the near future...
that's a good thing.
Just trying to get some things right.
There is nothing like resting in the presence of the God of the Universe.
Psalm 139: 12
Even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.
“Come to me, all of you who are tired and have heavy loads, and I will give you rest.
1 John 1:7
But if we live in the light, as God is in the light, we can share fellowship with each other.
Then the blood of Jesus, God’s Son, cleanses us from every sin.